So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
