Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
