I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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