No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
