We're like a lot better than the average bears
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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