So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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