It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
