We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
