Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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