I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
