So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
