thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
