I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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