and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
