oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed