Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful