dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable