At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
