love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
