i may or may not be watching the land before time
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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