is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
