That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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