I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
