Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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