Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic