Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit