fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize