careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
