Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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