Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
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Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
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The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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