hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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