Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
