Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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