That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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