Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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