this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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