Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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