oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
These tits shall not be calmed
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
