I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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