Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
