guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
