I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She's the barista slut.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
