Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Can i not drive my cunt home
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
don't judge my taste in strippers
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.