Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.