I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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