Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???

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(404): I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone??? http://tfl.nu/6a5o

Replies (30) Good night (1000) Bad night (4646)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

he should get drunk with us

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(610): walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant (1-610): he should get drunk with us http://tfl.nu/datt

Replies (20) Good night (5318) Bad night (688)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny

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(215): Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny http://tfl.nu/iixy

Replies (22) Good night (5816) Bad night (991)
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(914): View more from New York

just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.

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(914): just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic. http://tfl.nu/5aat

Replies (35) Good night (6323) Bad night (1198)
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(817): View more from Texas

God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist

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(817): God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist http://tfl.nu/ubmz

Replies (12) Good night (1498) Bad night (5418)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?

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(250): Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night? http://tfl.nu/nxqa

Replies (7) Good night (3479) Bad night (921)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.

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(774): and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date. http://tfl.nu/kedp

Replies (15) Good night (3310) Bad night (872)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops

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(605): The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops http://tfl.nu/xgyz

Replies (10) Good night (3818) Bad night (799)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot

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(+44): Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot http://tfl.nu/c6sc

Replies (2) Good night (2430) Bad night (877)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

True on all accounts.

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(702): I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me. (1-702): True on all accounts. http://tfl.nu/tt9s

Replies (13) Good night (3577) Bad night (1056)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.

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(717): Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together. http://tfl.nu/4ceo

Replies (6) Good night (1475) Bad night (498)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.

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(814): I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography. http://tfl.nu/gojc

Replies (4) Good night (2194) Bad night (574)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk

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(412): You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk http://tfl.nu/zmxc

Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (279)
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(425): View more from Washington

Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.

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(425): Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home. http://tfl.nu/vg5q

Replies (0) Good night (283) Bad night (372)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game

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(203): I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game http://tfl.nu/evlj

Replies (0) Good night (448) Bad night (285)

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