Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
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She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
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I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????