Texts From Last Night

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  (209): View more from California

  I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.

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  (209): I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own. http://tfl.nu/zoa7
  Replies (72) Good night (829) Bad night (3289)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.

  (716): View more from New York

  i dont this its possible to queef on command.

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  (630): bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face. (716): i dont this its possible to queef on command. http://tfl.nu/u9ov
  Replies (90) Good night (965) Bad night (2877)
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  (077): View more from

  it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner

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  (077): it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner http://tfl.nu/m2q7
  Replies (28) Good night (597) Bad night (4165)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow

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  (770): i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow http://tfl.nu/owei
  Replies (102) Good night (5281) Bad night (1247)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it

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  (217): so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it http://tfl.nu/d9op
  Replies (28) Good night (6141) Bad night (680)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.

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  (336): I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm. http://tfl.nu/32ib
  Replies (5) Good night (920) Bad night (5186)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Perfectly normal.

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  (440): Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?" (1-440): Perfectly normal. http://tfl.nu/lsmy
  Replies (15) Good night (6565) Bad night (1067)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!

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  (518): I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!! http://tfl.nu/03oq
  Replies (21) Good night (4679) Bad night (854)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dude our life is a booze cruise

  (585): View more from New York

  But without boats...

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  (585): Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise (770): Dude our life is a booze cruise (585): But without boats... http://tfl.nu/7gcu
  Replies (2) Good night (1312) Bad night (396)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.

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  (416): I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined. http://tfl.nu/slim
  Replies (8) Good night (1475) Bad night (453)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.

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  (402): She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat. http://tfl.nu/cjmw
  Replies (2) Good night (1306) Bad night (538)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.

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  (757): you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR. http://tfl.nu/zp8x
  Replies (8) Good night (1775) Bad night (435)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.

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  (734): You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us. http://tfl.nu/gs5u
  Replies (4) Good night (939) Bad night (435)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.

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  (229): Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us. http://tfl.nu/rq4r
  Replies (7) Good night (407) Bad night (710)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.

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  (727): The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now. http://tfl.nu/gkpn
  Replies (3) Good night (492) Bad night (236)

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