Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
