im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
