I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
