I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
