it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
