My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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