If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
