This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
