Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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