didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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