Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize