Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
