This is not my ceiling
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
