He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
