Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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