quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
